Too many people are being turned off to synagogue life because a vocal minority of members are (unintentionally, I think) sending a message that they are unwelcome. So instead of shushing or sighing, think about how you’d be sensitive and supportive to a person with any of these circumstances, and then treat every person with such lovingkindness. The child might have special needs or sensory processing challenges that make it impossible for you to imagine his or her experience.Īre any of these scenarios true? Honestly, I don’t know. Maybe the mom holding the whimpering baby needs to say kaddishbecause she birthed multiples, but the baby’s sibling didn’t make it. Perhaps the dad knows that removing the child will likely result in the whispers elevating to a scream as they are carried out. The adult accompanying them is entirely aware that this is happening and is trying hard to navigate the circumstance. Little kids babbling? Baby crying? Child talking? Someone digging through their purse or pocket, making crinkling sounds?Ĭould they be attempting to open a bottle of medication, struggling because of their arthritis? Or maybe they are hard of hearing, reaching to adjust the volume of their hearing aid but totally unaware of the sounds they create. Perhaps they are waiting on an update from their child’s school about a critical test. Maybe that person is getting a notification that an organ has become available for transplant that will save their life. And let’s consider possible reasons that the disturbance occurred (beyond he or she or they are simply “rude”).ĭid you hear the ‘ding’ of a phone or device? Let’s run through some of the scenarios in which a person might cast a passive-aggressive expression to another during a synagogue service. A shush from a congregant when a child whispered too loudly at services, however, felt like a harsh judgement - and, ultimately, and indication to a family that their presence was not warmly welcomed. For example, a stool in the bathroom, so children could reach the sink, was an authentic signal that the community recognizes and accommodates the needs of young children. In interviews, I heard about how it was the seemingly small details that dictate a family’s decision to participate. I was startled by how many synagogue leaders are investing time and money in order to attract young families - and then these families are alienated by members of the community. I just finished an enormous research project about engaging families with young children through Shabbat services. Such behaviors are negatively impacting Jewish continuity - and, yes, it is that big of a deal. It seems to me that most of the people doing the shushing hardly think about the choice that they are making - but I can confidently assert that the ones being shushed are deeply affected by these expressions. Shushing isn’t kind, and it isn’t respectful. And, to be clear, I’m talking about the shushing and the sighing, and not - repeat: not - the noises that elicit such behavior. In case of any mishaps, you can restore to a known good state.I’m going to go out on a limb here and bet that, whenever you were most recently at synagogue, you witnessed someone shushing, eye-rolling, audible sighing, or glaring at another person during services.Īnd if you have small kids, I’m going to take this a step further and bet that this behavior was directed at you or your offspring.īut I’m here to say that this needs to be stopped. This is because the tools below might edit registry values, hosts file, and other system files to achieve the settings you configure. Note: Before using any of the below Windows 10 privacy tools, I strongly recommend you create a system restore point on Windows 10 or even a full backup. So, if you don’t like Windows 10’s extensive data collection and phoning home constantly, here are some best Windows 10 privacy tools to lock it down. Add to that, though Microsoft is slowly adding the required options, Windows 10 doesn’t allow you to fully control what data to share and what not to share. However, not everyone is thrilled about this. Of course, there might be good intentions, like to improve Windows 10 features and services, behind the data collection. There is so much telemetry gathering in Windows 10 that it is just astounding. Windows uses telemetry to identify security issues and fix software problems. One of the most controversial things about Windows 10 is its telemetry gathering.
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